As a boy I was fascinated by balls. Bouncy Balls, Basketballs, Dodge Balls. Seeing how they worked, how high they bounced, what amount of force I could exert over them... it enraptured me for hours.
As a young adult I wanted to be that ball. The mystery no longer fascinated me, but the desire to understand, in a personal way, intrigued me. I did everything I could to reflect the qualities of said ball... the confidence, complete nature, yet freedom of movement and motion. I imagined the possibilities of the ball and the directions it could roll, to fill every spectrum and axis of our 360 degree universe. Yet a paradox remained. While I could roll full speed, in reckless abandon, toward one direction, in another I could defy the laws of physics and remain perfectly static. Hovering on the precipice of a pendulum pointed in 45 degree either way.
Now, as I grow older, I am slowly becoming the ball. My body is becoming more round. Slowly and surely, in an unconscious way, I am taking on the hue and texture of the ball. Intrinsically I am changing into what I always longed for, but in a gradual and appropriately deceptive way. I am no longer concerned or have anxiety about my particular complexities. Or exerting the force to explore the endless possibilities of my nature. In truth, some of my broad musings have lost their appeal and no longer preclude me from enjoying my spherical quiddity.
I don't quite know what all this means yet. But the one thing that keeps cycling through my mind is that I am growing up. I am still interested in balls. Just not as concerned with proving what they can do.
I'm gonna roll on by now.
